Tuesday, January 7, 2014

21 Day Sugar Detox - Day 2 - WTF am I doing?

It's the end of Day 2.  19 more days to go.  To be clear, I want to provide a realistic and honest picture of how your average working person deals with this detox.  So if the following seems a little complainy, I hope you understand that I'm providing context to this detox, not just saying how great it is for my body and tra-la-la everything is peachy and full of healthy wonderment.  MOVING ON.

Last night, I got home from work, walked my sweet puppies, and then proceeded to spend HOURS in my kitchen preparing meatloaf and cooking it and then making other food to have on hand for today.  At the end of kitchen-ing, I took a shower and got in bed.  Seriously from the time I got home til the time I got in bed, I was essentially entirely in the kitchen.  This evening, a repeat of that, with a work crisis and insane stress thrown in whilst trying to prepare food for tomorrow morning.  P - who has a trial tomorrow - was even helping with my work crisis.  But it gets better *sarcasm*...

My "puppies" a.k.a. tangible happiness.  I am sharing this with you to counterbalance all of the unhappiness that follows.
All this morning I wanted fruit.  A big bowl of mango or a giant thing of red grapes.  When I crave sweet stuff I usually want fruit or fruit juice.  I don't get insane chocolate cravings.  But fruit.  I WANT IT.  It's the food I always overbuy when I'm hungry at the grocery store.  I didn't have any fruit today though.  It feels like a crap victory right now because I'm exhausted.  I'm writing this in bed as a matter of fact.

And then work crisis happened this afternoon into this evening.  And all I could think is "I REALLY want some wine, I could just grab a bottle from the giant case of wine I got for Christmas because YES I like wine THAT much that it was my main Christmas gift this year from my wonderful stepmom."  (Ok it was a gift to me AND P but let's be real it's for me).  

"Please sir, may I have another [bottle]?"
But then I thought - "Self, are you just going to give up on yet another attempt to be healthy? And only on your second day? You always cheat and then give up because you get so disheartened and disappointed.  You know the second that wine touches your lips you'll be really disappointed in yourself for giving up yet again when things got crappy."  So I continued angrily grating things for tomorrow and attempting to not grate a finger (again) or attack a wine bottle.  Victory!

Who has two thumbs and didn't grate one off?  THIS GIRL!
I'm already only loosely following the meal plan because if I strictly followed it I'd be even more kitchen-bound (is that even possible??) and it would be an insane amount of food that P and I just wouldn't eat.  We ate meatloaf leftovers tonight with some cauliflower mash from the book which was AMAZING.  I would've taken a picture but it just looks like white mashed potatoes, which isn't that exciting looking.  Anyway, according to the meal plan I was supposed to make a whole new meal tonight and the meatloaf leftovers would never be eaten.  

SO Lesson #1 - Do NOT follow the meal plans in the book.  Make your own plan based on your knowledge of how much you and anyone else who may be eating the food you make actually eat.  I am so glad I didn't buy for all the recipes in the meal plan because my gut instinct was right, it would've been a total waste of food.  I will however provide a meal plan that is more sensible for just one or two people and hopefully more affordable sometime next week!  Yay! 

Lesson # 2 - have an honest dialogue with yourself, especially in moments of weakness.  Take a step back and assess why you are doing this, and why it is important that you succeed.  I have to remind myself that this could potentially resolve some chronic health issues I have and that is certainly worth sucking it up for awhile.  Additionally, the benefit of probably losing weight because I'm getting full more easily and with less food on this plan (hurray fiber and protein!) is not something I take lightly, this weight really needs to come off.

I doubt that I'll provide this crazy detailed account on a daily basis, but starting out there are some revelations worth sharing, because, well:

*insert tons of Ke$ha-esque sparkles here*

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